It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
