Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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