I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
