I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just puked most of my soul out..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
