never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
