he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
