he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
