***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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