It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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