There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The struggles of a small town man whore
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
