To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken