This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
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I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
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She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I want to be your penis for a week.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day