You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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