Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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