Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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