Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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