i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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