There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
