If that was your dad, he is hot
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
