I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
