I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Is it because I queefed?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
