I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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