I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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