just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need water and some morals
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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