I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
