i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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