Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
