She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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