i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
