she told me i tasted like america
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
