I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
