now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i believe in u and ur pee
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
