Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
