if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize