My first STD was from a foam party
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
