If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
