I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
