D3 body, D1 cock
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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