you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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