i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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