Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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