Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
