Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
is that a dick in a sweater?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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