My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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