Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
