hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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