He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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