Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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