I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
