I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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