roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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