why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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