Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
