ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
