well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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