are you still at the devil's house?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
