I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
