He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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