I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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