i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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