the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
